Title: Victory of a Heart
Author: Nova Dream Skywalker
Rating: NC-17 : Adult Themes, Lesbian Sex
Charactors : Ta'Nova, Lukara, Jade, Obi-Wan, the Jedi Council, Tara
Timline: Alternate Universe; Slightly before 'Attack of the Clones'
Disclaimer: Ta'Nova and Lukara belongs to me, Jade belongs to Jade Blood, Tara belongs to Aratocriel and Star Wars belongs to Lucas. And the song "All The Things She Said" belongs to Tatu.
Summary: One Jedi finds her own meaning of life, the Force, love and her own destiny.

* * * * *

‘…Calm… …Peace… …Warmth… …Peace…’

In the flat on Coruscant she had rented, Ta’Nova meditated, her body apart from her mind, drifting with focus. Her mind expanded and explored… and remembered. There was stress in those memories, which she calmed with a single word… but there was also joy.

Sweet joy...

The slight smile she held widen almost unnoticeably. As a Jedi, she knew that joy, also, was a precursor to passion. And a Jedi was to know no passion. Her heart thumped against her ribcage despite that fact.

Ta’Nova knew a secret. It was one that she knew others would not understand. The secret was so simple and yet, so taboo.

The secret was one she had been given by another whom she had looked at as a mere child.

Lukara…

In her mind, she could see, taste, smell and hear the memory.

They were in her father’s garden, an immense creation of every color of flower in bloom. A breeze stirred, pulling up the smells of a bell-of-gold that Ta’Nova was holding. They had just finished a stately dinner and Ta’Nova, oddly, had her long blonde hair down. The soft flow was a sharp contrast to her firm features.

She’d always looked older than her years but, at her age, she was finally catching up to her look. A few more years and she would reach forty. Not that age mattered to one of her position.

“If you like it so much, I’ll make sure they send some back with you.”

Ta’Nova turned her head to the soft voice and asked, “Excuse me?”

“The plant. You’ve been staring at it for the passed five minutes.”

The Jedi let go of the delicate bloom. “I was contemplating.”

Lukara made a surprised look. She stepped forward and looked at the yellow flower, pursing her lips.

The regent’s daughter was a woman of small stature and barely twenty-two. With brown skin and black hair, she was a younger replica of her mother, the Baroness LyKanta. Light brown eyes stared up at the Jedi suddenly.

“So, you have a passion for botany?”

And a tad annoying.

Lukara almost made a face, looking back at the dining hall. She’d come outside for a break but she really should be inside talking to the regent and not chatting with his daughter. She had arrived a week and a half ago to negotiate a treaty and she didn’t plan on staying any longer than she had to.

She’d left a mess back at the academy and she was now ready to get back to it and make amends.

The girl-woman made a sudden, impatient move and Ta’Nova realized she’d not answered her question. “A Jedi knows no passion.”

With that, she slipped passed the girl and headed for the dining hall.

“Not all passion is of the dark side.”

Ta’Nova froze then turned slowly. “And what do you know of the dark side?”

Lukara smirked. “Only that not all passion leads there.”

“….mission is taking much longer than I first anticipated. I will keep you apprised. End transmission.”

Ta’Nova got down from the communication dais and suppressed a smile when she saw Lukara standing at the door in her night robe.

“Pretty late for a call home.”

“Pretty late for someone to be eavesdropping.” The two stared at one another then both smiled. “I’m still on Coruscant time, I’m afraid.”

Lukara moved into the room. “So that’s why I catch the light on in your room so much.”

The older woman looked surprised. “And you’re looking because…?”

“Because the Jedi interest me. You interest me.”

Ta’Nova blinked dumbly.

She and Lukara had begun spending a lot of time together lately, mainly because the younger one was so forceful in her zeal. She was showing Ta’Nova her world through the eyes of a native, through her eyes. The young Lukara had become less annoying and more fascinating to the Jedi Master. Her excitement for life and her… passion for living was something sorely missed in Ta’Nova’s thought processes.

“Well”, Ta’Nova started then halted.

It was obvious the woman was flirting with her. It wasn’t the first time in her life this had happened… but with all the turmoil she’d left behind, this was the first time it frazzled her senses. She had not confessed to her new friend that she had feelings for another… Ta’Nova herself didn’t understand them.

She huffed inaudibly. Very odd that she should be attracted to a woman who rebuked her childish advances then come to a world and find herself with another woman who looked at her as she had looked at Jade.

“That’s all? ‘Well’?” Lukara stepped forward, her tan-dyed robe flowing around her ankles. “And I thought you Jedi where suppose to be masters of speech.”

Looking down at the teasing eyes, Ta’Nova thought about how similar Jade and Lukara were… and how different. “Lukara…”

Ta’Nova’s hand was grasped by Lukara’s slender fingers as she brought it up to her face. She stroked her smooth cheek over Ta’Nova’s knuckles, giving herself the touch that the Jedi Master could not. Ta’Nova’s eyelids grew heavy and little shocks of strange electricity danced down her spine.

Oh, she knew instinctively what this was…

Lukara turned her face and kissed the back of the master’s hand, letting her lips linger.

This was arousal.

One step closer and Lukara turned her face up, tilting it slightly as she brought Ta’Nova hand to rest on her hip. Nature was a powerful thing and Ta’Nova found herself leaning down towards those lips that waited so patiently for her. That first touch was the step over a ledge and Ta’Nova fell into the moment.

Kissing was so natural, so exotic!

Lukara was moving with the knowledge of previous lovers.

Ta’Nova recalled a previous time… when she was in a moment like this.

She tore away and pushed Lukara back like she'd burned her flesh.

“What’s wrong?”

“I…”

“Ta’Nova…?”

Without another word, the Jedi Master ran.

“You can’t leave!” Lukara shouted loud enough for the entire manor to hear.

Ta’Nova was packing, moving methodically, unhurried, controlled. “I’m not fit for this assignment. I’m going back to Coruscant and I’ll have another Jedi mediator sent in my place.”

“No! I won’t allow it!”

The master looked over, her face a calm mask. “My, aren’t we spoiled?”

Lukara was shaking with the force of her emotion, her face distraught.

Emotion… Ta’Nova’s throat tightened.

What a weakness emotion was!

“You’re just leaving? And you weren’t going to tell me?”

“You should have seen it coming.” She turned to her night desk, getting her things together.

“Yes, right! Because you’ve been ignoring me for the passed week.”

“It’s what’s best.”

“What’s best?”

Ta’Nova didn’t respond. Her heart was breaking softly in her chest. But she bundled the Force against her to dull the pain and, more importantly, to keep the look of pain off her face.

“You can’t leave me. I know you love me.”

The master frowned, folding a shirt and looking like she didn’t hear that last phrase. She was done packing but she had to keep her hands moving. She couldn’t look at Lukara right now.

“You need me! With out someone like me, you’re a husk.” Lukara saw the other woman’s back straighten. “Yes! That’s it! I said it. You’re a cold, lonely thing! You’ve no heart!”

“I have a heart,” she answered calmly. “You’re just to young and immature to see.”

“What’s the point of having a heart if you’re not going to listen to it? I love you. And if you were listening to your heart, you’d see that.” There was a desperate hope in Lukara’s voice, seeing that the other woman had stopped moving. “You love me… you need me.”

Ta’Nova dropped the pack… hard. But she didn’t turn to look at the crying woman. “And how exactly would you know that?”

“Because I feel it! I feel you! But you’re so caught up in yourself that you can’t see it! LOOK at me!” she screamed.

Ta’Nova spun on her heel, and did just that.

The girl, no… the woman was staring at her, face red and eyes swollen with tears. Her hair fell like black feathers around her face. She was so beautiful…

“Any feelings I have for you are mute. I am a Force-user, a Jedi-“

“And a ‘Force-user’ doesn’t feel.”

“Ofcourse we feel”, she answered calmly, though she was getting angrier by the second. “But we-“

“’But’… If there’s a ‘but’ then I’m glad I didn’t get trained there after all. Or I’d be just as pathetic as you.”

Ta’Nova frowned. “After all?”

Lukara stepped up fast, grabbing the sides of her face. “I’ll tell you one more time to LOOK in me before you run away again. After that, I won’t speak to you again. THIS is your last chance.”

Looking down at her, as she made the first thoughts to put down her psychic walls, she somehow sensed that Lukara was not talking about her missing the last chance for love with her… she would be missing out on much, much more.

But, right now, she couldn’t know for sure what that was.

Ta’Nova’s breath labored as she tried to put down her walls. They’d been build years ago to keep out the pain, to keep up appearances. She had to be a good Jedi, she had to follow the code. All those years of doing what she was told was right.

And what did she get?

She was not a great Jedi. She was mediocre at best.

Her apprentice had turned to the Dark Side.

Her childish love had ruined her good standing.

Inside, beneath the walls, she was totally different that the woman she tried to show people.

Lukara was wrong. She was not a husk. She was a child. As immature as she thought Lukara and half the galaxy to be. She had built walls so high that no light could get in. No light to nourish her heart.

The master didn’t cry, she wailed.

The tears flowed as Ta’Nova looked inside herself, unable to turn her vision out to see Lukara. But there the woman stood, holding her as she wept.

And with a desire born of humility and rage, Ta’Nova ripped all the walls down.

“I’m sorry.”

Lukara sat on the floor with Ta’Nova’s head in her lap. “Nothing to be sorry for.”

“I know you probably don’t understand-“

“Still self-absorbed, I see?” The elder looked up to see dark hair and a smile. “I knew what you were seeing. The Jedi aren’t the only ones with Force ability, you know. Though, they get the best training, that’s for sure.”

“You saw?”

“As easily as I see your shame now. Which, you should have none. The real shame would have been if you ignored it all.”

“This doesn’t mean I will stay…”

Lukara smiled a mysterious smile. “We’ll see.”

Ta’Nova sat up to look at the girl, petting back her hair. The insolent woman had took it out of its bun while she recuperated from the emotional release. “You don’t give up easy.”

“The hard-won things in life are the most cherished.”

The two women stared at one another, both haggard by the emotional turmoil but oddly bright with the release.

“Kiss me.”

Ta’Nova sighed. “Lukara, I really-“

There was a minor hesitation after she stopped speaking. She then scooted over, slipped her arms around Lukara’s slender waist and, shutting up for a change, did as she ask.

It was the tiny push in her tender mind that alerted her to Lukara’s attempt at psychic communication.

‘Feel me’, it seemed to say.

Sighing, Ta’Nova did just that.

As she kissed and moved her lips over Lukara’s lips, her mind slipped around and into Lukara’s mind.

So open! And bright and youthful… full of life, just like the one it influenced… and so full of love. And Ta’Nova seemed to be turned to look at herself... and, there, she saw that the same love was within her.

Afraid to come out again...

Ta’Nova got yet another shock when Lukara sat on her, astride, her warmth pressed into her. The elder leaned back on her arms a little, staring at the young wonder who straddled her.

Lukara’s small hands traced down Ta'Nova's face, to her chest and over her breasts. A languid pleasure awoke as her nipples hardened, almost visible beneath her brown robe. Those hands undid the front of the robe and began to expose yet more cloths beneath.

“Lukara… I… I don’t even know how it’s done… between women, I mean.”

The darker woman smiled. “It’s really easy. Very natural. I’ll show you… if you’ll trust me. Do you trust me?”

The answer to that was not spoken.

It was enough that Ta’Nova straightened and shrugged out of her master’s robe.

The next few weeks were filled with duty… and ecstasy.

The negotiations went through and, yet, Ta’Nova stayed on. It was common knowledge to Lukara’s mother and father and staff that the two had become lovers. There was no taboo here like there was on Coruscant… like there was at the temple. Lukara’s parents approved of the love she’d found, even if Ta’Nova, herself, still had her reservations.

But, with Lukara, there seemed to be no middle ground. Either you did or you didn’t.

And the decision was made one warm night in the oddest of places.

“Are you in here?”

Ta’Nova cupped her hands and watched water spill off her breasts and puddle into the bowl she’d made with her palms. Her nipples hardened just at the sound of her Lukara’s voice. “Yes, I’m here.”

“You are bathing!” she accused.

The blonde woman grinned. “Yes. I’m bathing. I’m very sorry I didn’t invite you.”

The door pulled back and Lukara stepped in, glorious in her naked beauty. “That’s okay. I invite myself!”

Ta’Nova laughed. Something she was finally becoming good at. She turned and made sure the door was shut good enough and opened her arms for the smaller woman to come into he embrace. Lukara’s brown skin was a striking contrast to her milky complexion but they went well together.

She had been so eager to make it to master hood in the temple… and here, after all that time, she had become the learner once more. And she loved every moment of it. It was Lukara who was her master, now… teaching her about life, love, pleasure and laughter… the true Light Side of the Force.

“Thank you?”

“Hmm?” Lukara had her head laid against her lover’s breast, eyes closed. “Well, I would have been here much sooner if you’d just called me.”

Ta’Nova grinned, in love with the hands that were moving up and down her back. “I mean for showing me what a different life I could lead.”

Lukara pulled her face away, stroking back her own hair where it was getting damp from the mist of the water running behind Ta’Nova. “So, you’re staying?”

Blue eyes stared down at the soft brown eyes of Lukara. “I can’t stay. I’m still a Jedi.”

“And what have they done for you?”

Looking away, she blinked, unable to say for sure. The Jedi were truly good and yet… they had somehow become so very wrong.

“Be my wife, Ta’Nova.”

The woman almost teetered back. “What?”

“Marry me. Stay with me. Or take me with you when you go! I don’t care. Just as long as I’m with you, it doesn’t matter.” Lukara leaned back alittle, her hands laid against the muscles of Ta’Nova’s arms. She stood on her tip-toes and pressed her smaller breasts into her lover’s breasts like a bodily kiss. “The academy has had you for thirty-seven years. Now, it’s your turn to live the life you want”, she whispered. “Tell me you want to go back and leave this all behind… and I’ll let you.”

“I don’t want to…”

“Besides,” Lukara continued, “father has already given me to you.”

“What?”

“For thanking you for all you’ve done. He likes you. Loves you as his daughter. He thinks you’ll be good for me for some reason.”

Ta’Nova stared down at the smaller woman.

Lukara said nothing else but merely stared at her, her brown eyes flickering back and forth from one blue eye to the other.

“I will.”

“Will what?”

Ta’Nova rolled her eyes. “Marry you!”

The older woman jumped at the sound of Lukara’s squeal. “I knew it!” She pressed herself in closer, her arms around Ta’Nova’s neck. “You love me!”

“I do love you.”

Lukara grinned, her tongue whipping across her lower lip. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Prove it.”

“How?”

“Guess.”

Ta’Nova giggled. Giggled!

Kissing her once on the lips, Ta’Nova took a leisurely path down her young lover’s body, kissing and licking down the soft flesh. From her neck to her supple breasts and from her bellybutton to her tummy, she paid homage to her love for Lukara.

Upon reaching the delicate hairs protecting her womanhood, Ta’Nova pushed her back a little, letting Lukara catch her balance against the shower wall. One leg knowingly settled on her shoulder to give her mouth access to all of her.

Starting with the hard bud cradled in soft skin, she pull back the clitoral hood and tongue bathed the precious nub, feeling the hardness against her tongue. Lukara moaned deep in her throat and Ta’Nova glanced up to see her fingers flowing over and grasping her own breasts. The sight fueled her ardor and she pressed forward, giving her lover’s clit a full kiss and a delicate suck.

Her left hand curved around soft buttocks and slipped down to where heat seemed to emanate from Lukara’s core. Still kissing and sucking gently, she swiped a finger against Lukara’s vagina, feeling the unmistakable slippery heat that told her that her young lover was ready.

She smiled against Lukara’s body. ‘She’s always ready.’

Lukara whimpered and repositioned herself so that she was more open and better anchored to take on the loving she was about to receive. Ta’Nova dove in, her tongue finding no traction in the slippery fluid. She drank from Lukara, turned on by the salty, warm taste. Her own hips ground against the air where she knelt against the floor.

“Oooh!”

Blue eyes looked up and she moved her finger to the lips of her vagina, brushing the sensitive folds and returned her attention to the hard clitoris that seemed to beg for her attention.

The woman cried out again, her arms reaching upwards and her back arching. Water from the shower made rivulets down her body, the warmth joining the intense feeling at her womanhood.

She pressed her lips against the little bud and moaned against the hard spot, sending vocal vibrations deep into the sensitive place.

Lukara screamed and ground her hips carefully, aware enough to let Ta’Nova hold on to her as she came against her. When the spasms were beginning to recede, she slid down the wall and onto Ta’Nova’s waiting lap. The elder held the woman close to her, stroking her back and rubbing her cheek against her damp hair.

It was a few replete moments before Lukara finally spoke. “That was good.”

“Was it?”

“Yeah…” Lukara smiled. “And you’ll marry me?”

Laughing, she nodded. “I will.”

“Then I owe you”, she said breathily, wiggling in her spot on Ta’Nova’s lap.

“You don’t owe me a thing.”

“Oh, but I do”, she purred, her finger pecking at her still pert nipples. Her mouth followed suit, sucking and biting gently on the pink skin. Ta’Nova leaned her head back on the shower seat, letting the pleasure come over her.

She felt Lukara move off from her and sit along side her, turned toward her to give her access to her seat of desire. Her nimble fingers dove effortlessly through her dark blonde curls, one finger finding the hard nub of her desire and teasing the precious spot.

Her arm came around to make a pillow for Ta’Nova’s head and to give her access to her mouth. Kisses were such creative little things. Tongue mated with tongue and it brought their passion up from a flicker to a flame.

Ta’Nova’s voice had been lost in that kiss…

Shifting in her spot where she meditated, she pulled herself out of her reverie, her body trying to respond to those memories. She should be using her time more creatively. Like dealing with the feelings that had come back to her since her arrival to Coruscant, her arrival to the Jedi… her arrival home…

Before the Council, Ta’Nova stood with Lukara at her side.

Jade Blood was there… so was Obi-wan Kenobi.

The council had called them to discipline them for something childish they had done.

A fist fight.

Two masters… fist fighting.

But that wasn’t the main reason for her up-wash of anxiety and worry. Jade was angry, calling out against her right to have a new padawan. One not sanctioned by the council.

She should have let the angry words fall away but she couldn’t. She knew so much more than she had before she had left this place. She was wiser in her contempt of the council and its ways.

"The only reason I asked at all was because I'm concerned for that young girl," Jade had said, pointing at Lukara. "You give her over to the same master that trained Tara without even testing her skill or assessing her own personal fears or shortcomings. Since when does the Council allow just anyone into the Order's ranks?"

Oh, how she was gotten angry at those words and Jade’s obvious disdain. She was more than happy to set the record straight. “I have no problem with you. And who says the council has allowed Lukara here? You just assumed."

Jade opened her mouth to speak but was halted when Ta'Nova tossed out her hand.

"They have no clue what to do with us. And, really, it doesn't matter." The woman crossed her arms and titled her head back at a cocky angle. "The Lost Twenty may become the Lost Twenty-One for all I care. Noone is keeping me from Lukara and being her master."

"You threaten to abandon us?" Mace asked, astonished at her words. "You have no loyalty to the Order?"

"Why not tell them what we both know is the real reason behind this, Ta’Nova?" Jade asked coldly. "You don't wish to enrich this girl in the ways of the Force... Tell the truth... Say what I know you feel even when you admit nothing at all..."

"You know nothing!" she cried at Jade, balling her fists. "The Force is life and should not be LORDED over by the council any longer! Lukara has a gift and it is my right to teach her."

Mace had almost arisen from his chair. In fact, many of the members where suddenly very tense.

Jade sneered. "You're right? You have no right to do to her what you did to Tara!"

"They are not the same!" she stated abrasively.

Jade said loudly in exasperation, "How could it be different? She's your apprentice!"

"She's my WIFE!”

Within the meditation, Ta’Nova smiled. How proud she’d been to shout those words!

”MY WIFE!”

Oh, but she hadn’t been done with the anger of her disillusionment.

“I was realizing just what the council and Jedi now meant”, she had told them. “The long road we traveled over the generations have lead us NOWHERE."

Yoda stamped his staff into the ground. "Wrong, you are. Many are the reasons for our ways."

"Then maybe they shouldn't be my ways... master", she added begrudgingly. Yoda had always been her favorite. Like a father figure...

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jade Blood's stricken look and Obi-wan looking fit to be tied. She’d pitied them... she still did...

She then told the council that they held no dominion over the Force. She was always stubborn and this was no different. They took her lightsaber and told her not to leave the temple. She left that room with Lukara under her arm, satisfied but exhausted.

Lukara had been more worried over the situation than her. Especially the taking of her lover’s lightsaber. But for Ta’Nova, it was a time to cut ties. She could be happy on Taran, living happily with her wife in the Force as she believed nature would have it.

The council and the Jedi had lost their place in her life.

She would gladly give it up for her young lover.

Shifting back in her mind, away from the stress of the passed few days, Ta’Nova wandered back in time to the day Lukara’s father had given her his daughter.

He had called her a gift… his most precious gift.

A gift fit for a Jedi.

Ta’Nova had taken her gladly. Into her heart, into her mind, into her body.

This woman was now her mate, not only in the physical but by the sacred laws of her people.

The marriage her father did for the two women was as simple as it was strong, binding them for a lifetime.

Lukara and Ta’Nova were dressed identically, robed in light blue dresses that drug in the grass under their bare feet. The ceremony only involved the three of them. But when they had emerged from the tiny section of garden, they were swamped with mild congratulations and quiet smiles as was befit a sacred occasion.

All the politicians and important government officials were there… plus all of Lukara’s multitude of friends. Ta’Nova was honestly surprised to not see the Jedi Council there, ready to drag her away. To fix her crazed mind.

But Lukara had pulled her back to reality, her exuberance for life not dulled by the quiet tone of her people.

“I have a gift”, she called out, moving away from her. “It’s something only done for today.”

Ta’Nova frowned, glancing around at the others there, recalling that she was among a people not native to her. Everyone was smiling and she sensed that they knew what was about to transpire. They gave the woman a wide berth and set themselves away from Ta’Nova. She almost moved back too, but her new father held her in place.

“Just watch, child. ‘Tis her gift to you.”

It only took a moment to see what they meant. Under the light blue sky, amid the array of flowers and trees, Lukara began to dance.

Lukara had danced for her wife.

In front of everyone, she danced...

Ta’Nova was so worried that she would have to do the same but it was Lukara’s gift alone. To show the world how her wife made her feel by expression her love with the movement of her body.

The afternoon had gone on… they celebrated in their new life with their friends and family.

The night began to fall and the wives returned to the place in the garden where they had mated their destinies together to be alone. They would spend the night here, under the stars, undisturbed as tradition dictated.

There, though she was afraid to dance, Ta’Nova sang to her wife. She sang a song of love and promise, a haunting melody that talked of a future of companionship and walking into a sky of gold.

She’d never sung to anyone out loud before. She had somehow never wanted to share that… to be that open before anyone. But her Lukara was different. It was a gift for her… she sang to her wife as her wife had danced for her.

Then, they had made love. The joining was as peaceful as it was erotic. They were bound to one another. And no one could undo what had been done. It felt truly safe to love now…

It was a moment that Ta’Nova would remember for all her days.

A moment that she would need to remember as times got rougher for the lovers…

Ta’Nova arched her neck where she had sat too long in meditation.

The past few days were hard on her.

Hard on everyone, she imagined. The council was losing one of theirs… Jade and Obi, the secret lovers, had their own problems, her former padawan was still receiving repercussions from her passed decisions and she and Lukara…

What of their future?

Was she doing the right thing?

Ah, yes, that was the issue. Was throwing away her life as a Jedi worth it?

To love another being so much that you would deny the galaxy a protector did not seem quite like the choice the old Ta’Nova would make. But then, the old Ta’Nova had made her own fair share of mistakes… and they had had nothing to do with love.

For if love was a thing so wrong that the council would deny it to their own members, then the time for her to stay with them and be a Jedi was over.

Little kisses brought her awake.

Ta’Nova opened her eyes to see a vision of love.

Love was a young human woman with brown skin and long, black hair.

Love was twinkling eyes and a wild desire to live.

Love was Lukara, smiling back at her.

And this love was worth all the sacrifice she could give.